In celebration of my not having to write a BA for linguistics, I bring you this instead.

 

 

Wake up in the mornin’ feeling like Zellig Harris,

I got a two-year research grant, and a ticket to Paris.

Before I leave, pack my bags, and a shitload of books,

but when I get done with this paper, it’s gon’ be off the hook.

 

I’m talkin’ going into the field, field

Doin’ this shit for real, real

Got a sponsor, so what’s the deal, deal

Now, now I go until they kick me out,

‘Til the locals shut me down,

Just trying to get some recordings.

 

Don’t stop, you just talk,

once I set my speakers up.

Tonight, I’m gon’ fight,

’til I get this shit right.

Don’t stop, you just talk,

’cause the project don’t stop, no.

 

Ain’t got a clue what I’m doing,

but got plenty of theories,

based on some shit I read by Chomsky,

and on verbs in Walpiri.

And now the dudes are lining up

so I can study their grammar,

but then I throw their data out

because they all start to stammer.

 

I’m talkin’ setting up microphones, phones

Analyzing pitches and tones, tones

Finding contrasting phones, phones

We got these autosegmental morphemes,

twenty different classes of lexemes,

making me wanna’ get tipsy.

 

Don’t stop, you just talk,

once I set my speakers up.

Tonight, I’m gon’ fight,

’til I get this shit right.

Don’t stop, you just talk,

’cause the project don’t stop, no.

 

Think  something up,

I’ll write it down,

transcribe those sounds

that you taught me.

Phonemic sets,

morphemes and nouns,

your verbal paradigm’s

lost me.

 

Now the research don’t start ’til I walk in…

 

(I always had a theory that if I lost about 15 pounds and replaced it with 15 pounds of glitter, I could be Ke$ha. )

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